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The Quote Of The Day:

Did he, did he, did he, die upon that cross?
And did he, did he, did he, come back across?
-From Jesus Walking On The Water
-Submitted by thehappycyclops


March 26- Rodeo’s, Jackson, MS (P)
March 27- Ohio Northern Univ., Ada, OH (O,P) CANCELLED!!

**April 22- 8 p.m., Agora Theatre, Cleveland, OH, $14 (T)**


Going to a VF concert? Want to know if anyone
else on the list also going? Check here first!

Jackson, MS
mdixon (Mike)



VF Message

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In Today’s Issue:

Everyone Must Vote!!!!!
Easter at Bellingham
My Femmes Fantasy
RE: Carmaig De Forest
RE: Balkan Falcon
RE: Dance
Opening Band
Some Observations
Brian’s Solo Album

Everyone Must Vote!!!!!
can you send this message out to everyone as soon as possible. you’ll
understand why when you read it.

Subject: Everyone must Vote!!!!!
Ok everyone, hopefully this gets to everyone in time. WHFS radio in
Baltimore/Annapolis Maryland has been holding a March Madness
tournament where they paired off 64 bands and had callers vote in head
to head matchups of each band until there was just one remaining. So
far, Violent Femmes have won theire first two matchups against Talking
Heads and Matchbox 20, advancing them to the sweet 16. However,
tomorrow is a really tough battle, as our beloved femmes go head to
head with Dave Matthews Band. This might be a hard battle to overcome,
so everyone must vote. You can vote at or 1-800-321-WHFS.
I think you have to vote between 9 am and 3pm tomorrow, that’s thursday,
so everybody do this so the femmes can advance to the Elite 8

ok, thanks

Easter at Bellingham
The Easter Bunny brings a special treat this year. The Femmes are
coming to my home town of 75, 000 [Bellingham WA] for an Easter Sunday
(4/4) performance. This 57 year old Femmes freak has 6th row seats
along with two of his adult sons. Put me on the list of attendees
please. The show is at a classic old theatre. There will be no seat
removal for a mosh pit. Will hopefully be a concert where the music can
be enjoyed without fear of bodily harm.

I hope that they sing most of their religious songs in honor of the


My Femmes Fantasy
I know that the Femmes fantasy thing has been drawn out waaaay too
much, but I feel like I gotta join in. So… here goes. BTW, yes, I’m
one of those wonderfully horny teenagers Gordon loves to write about
(hey, aren’t we ALL, deep down?). But my fantasy is more than that.
Here we go:
I get a phone call from a radio station I’ve never heard of
telling me I’ve won something. I yawn. “What? A toaster?” “No,” they
reply. “You’re going on tour with the Violent Femmes for one year.” Of
course, I scream, faint, come to, joyfully dance all over the kitchen,
call everyone I know to tell them, scream some more, etc.
Next thing I know I’m getting off a plane in New York City. I get
into a red Volkswagen Karmin Ghia (spelling??) and guess who’s inside.
I can’t even talk. I just grin like an idiot. It’s crazy.
They play a show that night and afterwards I actually get my voice
back and we talk until way past 6 in the morning. Brian is hilarious,
Gordon’s cute in a psycho way, and Guy’s a human hormone. But a very
charming human hormone… I like him…
The guys become like brothers. Brian makes me laugh constantly.
Gordon sings me the Oats song on demand (actually I don’t believe in
the Oats song, but this is a fantasy, right?). Guy… well, he won’t
quit hitting on me. Luckily I have enough sense to rebuff him, which
only fascinates him more. Of course I’m in love with him. I find him
extremely sexy. But it’s somehow sexier to me to act like I could take
him or leave him, because I can see the way it’s driving him crazy…
Six months… 10 months… eleven months… time is almost up. I
don’t want to say goodbye. I only have a week left. That’s when Guy
tells me the truth: the radio station I’d never heard of doesn’t exist.
He had seen me at a concert, decided I was a creature of amazing beauty
(like I said, this is pure fantasy!!), and just wanted to have me for a
year. Unfortunately, I never loved him back and… I shut him up with a
long kiss. We disappear and the next morning Gordon and Brian are not
the least bit surprised to find me with a gorgeous platinum band on my
finger and Guy grinning like a maniac.
So I never leave… a year stretches to 10 stretches to 20… and
Guy and I live happily ever after.
(Yeah, I know most people don’t like Guy as much. But he’s my
favorite!! I even love the bald spot!! So please don’t judge me too


RE: Carmaig De Forest
So, does anyone know if Carmaig De Forest is opening all the Femmes
shows on the current jaunt? Specifically, the show in Eugene?

My roommate and I were originally going to drive down and back in one
night, but decided to bail because of $$$ and previous plans and such,
but if Carmaig is opening I MUST GO!!!

I first heard him when he opened for the Femmes last time around in
Seattle last year and have been stalking him as a groupie ever since.
I think I scare him, but I totally dig his music and he has, in turn,
turned me on to some other cool musicians (Specifically Jules Shear
and Bob Wiseman)

Can anyone answer my questions, or do I need to stalk Carmaig to find
the answer?


RE: Balkan Falcon
I listened to the song after reading the post and I remember somethings
I learned in high school about the Balkan Peninsula and since I will be
majoring in Comparative Studies in Religion (Emphasis on the first
temple period in Jewish history and with a Minor in Philosophy) when I
head off to college this fall I can tell you somethings about Elijah.

Balkan Peninsula:
Balkan comes from the Turkish word for Mountain which is basically
descriptive of the whole area. You probably know a lot more about the
area then you think you do. If you think back to World History classes
you’ll remember that this is where the spark for W.W.I was set off with
the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand, heir to the Austrian-
Hungry throne, by Gavrilo Princip, a Serbian nationalist. More
recently their was the break down of Yugoslavia in 1992, which has been
followed by outbreaks of fighting in Kosovo. Kosovo is the home of the
Field of Blackbirds at Kosovo Polje the center of Serbian pride.

Elijah is one of the more prominent prophets of the old testament. His
deeds are very similar to those preformed by Moses and he even appeared
with Moses to Christ in the garden before Christ was crucified in
Christian mythology. He’s not to be confused with Elisha who succeeded
him as a great prophet, nor Ezekial who if I remember correctly had a
fondness for wondering around naked in the desert. That might be
another prophet though I can’t remember right now. Elijah was taken up
by the Lord in a great chariot of fire which some new agers believe is
without a doubt a UFO sighting. (I being completely serious here.)

How the two tie together:
I’m not really sure if this is what the song is about or whether or not
it’s just a really freaky coincidence but Serbs hold the Field of
Blackbirds sacred because the legend of Prince Lazar who died at the
battle with most of his army, weakening the Serbian country in 1389.
The Turks Prince Lazar had been battling gave him a choice of death or
surrender and he chose death. Now the significant part is that the
prophet Elijah appeared to Lazar with a message from the Virgin Mary.

Tsar Lazar of noble ancestry!
Which kingdom will you choose?
Will you choose the earthly kingdom?
Or you will choose the heavenly kingdom?
If you choose the earthly kingdom
All your army will perish,
And you, O Prince, will die with them”
After the tsar heard these words,
He pondered all sorts of thoughts:
“Dear God, what shall I do and how shall I?
Which kingdom shall I choose?
Shall I choose the earthly kingdom?
Or shall I choose the heavenly kingdom?
The earthly kingdom lasts only a brief time,
But the heavenly kingdom always and forever.”
So the Tsar chose the heavenly kingdom..
Then the Turks mounted their attack against Lazar.
And the Serbian Prince Lazar perished,
Together with his entire army,
Seventy-seven thousand a number,
And all was holy and honorable
And acceptable to gracious God
(from the epic cycle of Kosovo)

His legend became a point of national pride for the Serbs, he and his
army died defending their homeland and Christian faith from invading
Muslims. So that’s about it. I’m not really sure if the song is about
that but it’s the closest thing I could think of. Kind of ironic to
the song was written at least a few years ago and now Kosovo, the
Serbs, and the Albanians are all over the news.


-Pat. Says: Please join me in hoping/wishing/praying our subscribers
in that area are safe. It is horrifying to me to think
that people with whom I have something in common, and who
read this newsletter three times a week, may at this
moment be in grave danger.

RE: Dance
<< I did a little faith dance that I made up. Some older fans were
laughing at me. I don’t care, I thought it was a great dance. I
have a picture of me doing it. >>


Opening Band
you know what? now that I think about it, there’s this band I saw once
that would be a really good opener for the Femmes. They’re called the
Hate Fuck Trio. I think they’re based out of Denver. They play this
psychobilly punkabilly stuff. Oh, and there’s four members. I saw
them once and they were just so cool because they played in between two
HARD loud bands and they just seemed to piss off the crowd. I thought
they were great.

Remember, the Hate Fuck Trio.


Some Observations
First: Bozeman, Montana??? WTF? I live in Houston, Texas. It’s
generally known as a big city in a big state. Yes, why would the Femmes
play within 1000 miles of here?

Second: Thrift store magic. I was at the Sand Dollar looking through
their tape rack (mostly Rick Springfield classics and assorted mix
tapes) when I found the tape copy of Blind Leading the Naked!!!!!
Which we all know contains the tape-exclusive bonus track World Without
Mercy, song by Vic! It’s a neat song, nicely instrumented, and the
tape cost me a horrible, wallet-bursting 50 cents. Rawk.

Third: When I first came to Rice last year, some Christian group had
set up in our student center handing out free stuff like youth bibles
and cd’s. I’m Jewish but generally open to new music. It was some cd
sampler called “No Lies” featuring lame Christian rock and even a
woefully, unbelievably bad ska band. Recently, I’ve been thinking…
just because a song is religious doesn’t make it suck. After all,
many of my favorite Femmes tunes would qualify as ardently Christian!
Then it hit me…they should be handing out compilations of Femmes
Christian songs in colleges instead of this lame ass No Lies bullshit!
Think about this album:

Jesus Walking on the Water
Hallowed Ground
It’s Gonna Rain
Outside the Palace
See My Ships
I’m Free
Rejoice and Be Happy

well i guess it would be an ep. Any i’m forgetting?
Also, as a hidden bonus track, i’d put Brian Ritchie’s hilarious
“Religion Ruined My Life.” Just because.


Brian’s Solo Album
hi there!
i was just wondering: has anyone out there heard the brian ritchie
solo album, “i see a noise?” what are your thoughts on it? is it
worth buying?