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The Quote Of The Day:

I danced before I had two feet
Sang before I had a tongue
I laughed before I had two eyes
Loved before my heart was young…
-From I Danced
-Submitted by Jeffrey_Wilson


March 22- Chantilly’s, Manchester, NH (P,O)
March 24- 8 p.m., The Silo at Riveredge, Reading, $20 (T,O,P)
(This is a 21+ show)
March 26- Rodeo’s, Jackson, MS (P)
March 27- Ohio Northern Univ., Ada, OH (O,P) CANCELLED!!
March 30- Shrover Auditorium, Bozeman, MT (O)
March 31- MSU Ballroom, Missoula, MT (O)
April 1- Snow King Resort, Jackson Hole, WY (P)
April 2- Doubletree Ballroom, Boise, ID (O)
April 3- The Rock, Pocatello, ID (O)
April 4- 7 p.m., Mount Baker Theatre, Bellingham, WA (T,O,P)
April 6- 8 p.m., Emu Ballroom, U of Oregon, Eugene, OR, $25 (O,P)
April 9- 7 p.m., Univ. of Dayton Arena, Dayton, OH (P,T)
(W/George Clinton)

**April 16- Robins Center, Univ. of Richmond, Richmond, VA (P,T)**
(w/Pat McGee Band)

April 17- Shepherd’s College, Shepherdstown, WV (P)

**April 18- 6.30 p.m., Newport Music Hall, Columbus, OH (T)**
(Pre-concert party, price includes preferred seating
and hotdog/chips, price does NOT include concert)
**April 18- 7 p.m., Newport Music Hall, Columbus, OH (T)**

April 21- 8 p.m., Hill Auditorium, Ann Arbor, MI (T)
April 23- Elizabethtown College, Elizabethtown, PA (P)

**May 1- Harvard, Cambridge, MA (O)
**May 1- Johnson and Wales College, Providence, RI (P)**

May 4- Le Batacian, Paris, France (P)
May 5- Forum, London, England (P)
May 6- Student’s Festival, Lisbon, Portugal (P)
May 8- Oporto Festival, Oporto, Portugal (P)
May 10- E-Werk, Cologne, Germany (P)

Apr 20- Northern Auditorium, Minneapolis, MN (P)

NOTA BENE: ‘O’ stands for the Official homepage
‘P’ stands for Pollstar
‘T’ stands for Ticketmaster
‘I’ stands for Insider Info
All other references are subscribers

To book a show, contact Monterey Peninsula Artists.
Serious inquiries only.


Going to a VF concert? Want to know if anyone
else on the list also going? Check here first!

Manchester, NH
ViolntPhem (Melissa)

Reading, PA
Kittricken (Kathryn)

Jackson, MS
mdixon (Mike)

Pocatello, ID
[Bellingham WA] for an Easter Sunday
(4/4) performance. This 57 year old Femmes freak has 6th row seats
along with two of his adult sons. Put me on the list of attendees
please. The show is at a classic old theatre. There will be no seat
removal for a mosh pit. Will hopefully be a concert where the music can
be enjoyed without fear of bodily harm.

I hope that they sing most of their religious songs in honor of the


Eugene, OR

Ann Arbor, MI
alexa135 (Andrea)

Cambridge, MA
thenewkid (Drew)
potatoe482 (Em)


In Today’s Issue:

Lupos Show
Reading, Frank Zappa quote, RE:Topic Starters, other meaningless babble
RE: Homepage Picture
Re:Sweatin’ to the Femmes
Balkan Falcon
Hitting the Ground
Is that a recorder in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Random Thought for the Day …

Ohio Northern just cancelled the Femmes concert!!! Apparently they
weren’t able to sell enough advanced tickets.

Maybe next time they’ll announce the concert more than two weeks in
advance. Idiots.



I’m gonna go to the April 6 show at Emu Ballroom @ University of Oregon
in Eugene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It will be show #6 for me. Anyone else going?
Any how I wanted to share my excitement and enthusiasm with all of you.

A very happy girl, 🙂

Lupos Show
Alright! I saw my first show EVER! It was so rad! It was SO rad! I
am so psyched, you have no idea! It was at Lupos which is a shitty
dive. the place was disgusting. Tumor Girl and I pushed our way up to
the front of the place. We were right behind these kids on the rail
with long shaggy hair. They looked like Dave Grohl. One of them met
Brian before the show and showed him his tattoo of the Add it Up cover
on his back and told him how he plays bass too, so he got backstage
passes and got to jam with them on Faith while Brian played some baby
drum set. It was so much fun! They are such a fun band!

Let’s see. A guy named “Carmaig de Forrest” openned for them. He
sounded a bit like Glenn Gano. He played the ukulele and kept
stepping on a desk bell that he had taped to the floor. He sang songs
about little indian girls doing the nasty. He was great! Hahahha, I
really liked him in a weird way. Then after he left the band took
another hour to get onstage. It was such a long wait.

Upfront we were pretty packed in there but not unbearable. Then right
before the band came on two fat punks in spiked leather came up behind
us. The girl was such a pain in the ass, she kept trying to get closer
by slamming her fat ass against me. She put her cigarette out on my
wrist and kept slamming myself and Tumor Girl in the head with her
spikes. This one fat ass set off the whole crowd. Everyone started
pushing and throwing elbows and just 3 or 4 songs in we pulled out of
the back. Stupid bitch. I was really pissed off.

It was so much easier to get to the back ot the crowd than it was to
get up to the front. I pulled out of the crowd like a weary soldier.
We both were having wicked bad heart palpatations. My blue
sweatjacket was hanging lifelessly from my elbows. My gelled spikes
of black hair were flattened. I couldn’t stand up straight. It was
alright though. We ended up in the balcony sitting on the floor right
by the railing. It was still like just 30 feet from the band. It was
a small place. I hope my pictures came out.

Ok, enough about myself and Tumor Girl, sorry this is so long. THE
BAND. Gordon was very long haired. I think it is awesome. I think
it looked so good back in ’84 and I’ve been dying for it to come back.
They played Bad, Rejoice and Be Happy, and Stop Talking about My Music,
which were all new to me. When that kid jammed with them on Faith
Gordon had a copy of the Rhode Island State song which he attempted to
sing. It was very funny. He started then was like, yeah right, and
threw all the pages out except the last one and finished up singing
about how it is great and small. It was really hilarious. I did a
little faith dance that I made up. Some older fans were laughing at me.
I don’t care, I thought it was a great dance. I have a picture of me
doing it.

I have finally seen the theramin, the sakushaki, the conch (which brian
couldn’t break), the one string japanese bass, and the trancephone
which I don’t think Guy used at all. That is such a nice washtub, if I
was him I would cover every drum with a washtub. I met Guy actually
afterwards very briefly. I found him to be very curt and I was very
put out. Of course I have no vagina, so maybe that has to do with it.
I am not sure. I tried to joke with him and said that I write them all
the time and Brian never writes back. I told him how I was asking for
jew’s harp tabs and got no love. Some dumb girl next to him was like,
“Did you check olga?” I wanted to smack her. He was very serious
about all this which pissed me off. He could have at least smiled a
bit and been like, “Ok, hahhaha, goodbye now.” Prick. He signed my

I was impressed by Confessions. And all their jamming was really good.
Brian put the theramin on his head and danced around. It was great.
Gordon played this white space-age violin of his. Guy played the
trumpet. No one I knew played with the Horns of Dillema. I actually
met one of them before hand and asked who was playing tonight. He was
a 50 year old guy in an orange Fubu shirt. I laughed at that. He was
hanging out with Wyatt Earp. Wyatt was nice. Gordon had a neat
Ramone’s shirt on. Brian had a great Sun Ra shirt (with no sleeves of
course) and these wicked funny blue striped pants. Brian lost some
weight. His hair is funny. i am going. Goodbye.


Reading, Frank Zappa quote, RE:Topic Starters, other meaningless babble
OK, I’m psyched for this Reading show because this will be the first
time I’ve gone with someone who actually knows the words to more than
BITS. Yes! I’m going with one of the bartenders I USED to work with, I
finally flipped out and quit my bar job. Working in a bar is OK unless
you’re working were I used to. Which is about as much fun as slipping
naked (hey I worked naked into my post cool) down a ten foot long,
greased razor blade. (Suckin’ muchly.)
Anyway, I’ve asked her to go to the past few shows but my ex-boss,
being the bastard that he is, frowns upon anything that would even
remotely considered fun and wouldn’t give her any of the days off. She
hasn’t really listened to VF since she was in high school so I brought
in all my VF CD’s for her to take home and listen to and she returned
all of them except first one and New Times so things are looking pretty
good here. I’m really curious to see if this show will be any different
from the other shows I’ve been to since it’s going to be a 21+ show.
There was a little paragraph in the PA Musician this month about the
show and a small quote from Brian about how the band is always trying
to expand their sound. That’s about it except for the ad on the next
page. (PA Musician is an absolutely horrible magazine covering the
local music scenes put together by various DJ’s from around the state.
It brings to mind a Frank Zappa quote: “Rock journalism is people who
can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, for people who can’t
read.” Yup that about covers most of locals on my half of the state.
Makes me kind of happy I’m not from here.)

Topic starters:
1. What is your favorite femmes song?
It used to be This Island Life, but now that I’ve had Rock!!!!! for a
while Sweet Worlds of Angels is my new favorite. This is really one of
those sappy “Why I like this song stories” so bear with me. I had a
pretty rough childhood. We weren’t poor or anything we just moved
around a lot and I never had what you would really consider a normal
childhood. When I was 15 my parents divorced and I had to decide
between living with my father or living with my mother. I chose to live
with my father and he and I moved to PA, while my mother and two younger
brothers stayed in Vermont. It was pretty much hell for us both. A 35
year old man suddenly raising his 15 year old daughter pretty much on
his own. (and I think all of us girls can attest to the fact that
happens to be one of the most turbulent times in a young woman’s
development and probably a complete mystery to any man). Needless to
say we were not connecting very well, (and that’s putting it mildly).
For the next three years I was deeply depressed and pretty much a pain
in the ass to my father, who I now know was doing his very best, even
though at the time I thought he was an Ogre. I was having mood swings
on a regular basis and pretty much keeping to myself. (I still call him
“my ogre” sometimes, although affectionately and never to his face.)
When I was a senior in high school I had a complete nervous breakdown
and was sent to the guidance office to receive “guidance.” Well, I was
babbling forth everything that was wrong with my life and my counselor
asked me if I had ever tried to kill myself and I said yes. I had tried
to commit suicide earlier that year by throwing myself off an eighth
floor balcony. (Which now that I think about it was pretty moronic
that’s not very far up and I probably wouldn’t have killed myself, just
really fucked myself up.) Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for
anyone who dislikes me) one of my friends had noticed that I was having
one of my mood swings again and had that good sense to keep an eye on
me that night. School policy where I graduated from is to alert parents
if they found out that a student was thinking about hurting themselves
or someone else. They called my father at work and told him the whole
story. At first my dad didn’t say anything. He came to pick me up at
school and drove me home and then went back to work. All I could think
“Was great now I’m going to get it when he gets home. This is none of
his business.” My dad came home later that night and didn’t say
anything at first. Then after a half hour of uncomfortable silence he
just looked at me and said “Was it something I did? Are you mad at me
for something?” That is the only time I have ever seen my father cry.
At first all I could think about was “Where does he get off thinking
this has anything to do with him?” Then I realized it had everything
to do with him. For three years I had been so incredibly selfish and
boo hooing over everything I felt was terrible unfair to me and taking
it out on the innocent by standers around me. I have never been so
ashamed in my life as I was at that moment. I’m still ashamed to even
think that I could be that way towards someone who had loved
unwaveringly my entire life. (Although I’m sure there were days when
he wanted to knock my lights out.) All I could say was “No”
That was the day I started to take a really long, hard, honest look at
myself. Which is not as easy as it sounds, self reflection takes a lot
of really harsh honest towards ones self not to mention diving into the
really ugly side of ones personality and trying to figure out how one
became wretchedly miserable without entirely placing the blame on other
parties. Sweet Worlds of Angels really symbolizes that whole process of
digging myself out of that whole mess of a human being that I was. I
know some people find this kind of emotional slobbering kind of
embarrassing, but I don’t anymore. OK I’m done sharing.

2. What is your favorite Femmes album?
New Times without a doubt.

3. What is your funniest memory of a femmes concert?
Probably the stripping, tripping, dancing bisexual chicks that were
making out and molesting my friend Mikey at the Cleveland show last
year. Josh, if you’re still out there somewhere, do you remember them?

4. Have you ever not worn underwear to a femmes concert?

Ummm… no but, as long as we are on the subject of not wearing
underwear I would like to know at what age does a man reach the
decision that underwear is no longer a necessity. I swear in my year
of working at the bar I saw more cases of plumbers crack then I thought
was humanly possible. I’m going to need a few years of therapy to get
over it. Say no to crack and yes to Hanes, or at least wear a belt.

signing off,

RE: Homepage Picture
< Oh btw, check out the new picture on the official home page.>

When I visited the home page yesterday I saw the new picture. Cute.
A question though……… It looks like Guy has something in his hand.
Can anyone tell what he is holding? I couldn’t figure it out. But, I
believe Gordon’s holding a cigar. And Brian seems to be holding on to

Anyway, just curious.
Peace, Tammy


Re:Sweatin’ to the Femmes

Hey do you think Mr. Snopek and his big fish hat would be in this
video. He could stand in the back row and Richard could say, “COME ON
SIGGY! Burn that fat!” and then Snopek can tell him to “Fuck off!!”
That would be really funny. I’d by the video just for that.


Balkan Falcon

I just bought Machine and am listening to “Balkan Falcon”. Does
anybody know what that song is all about? The lyric “Fuck all the
women, kill all the children” is a bit disturbing. I think it may be
sarcasm or it may be satirical in some way (at least I hope it is).
The song also in the beginning talks about the prophet Elija. I don’t
know much about the Bible. Could someone who does possibly give a brief
explanation of Elija. I am confused……


Hitting the Ground
Did anyone else check out the movie “Hitting the Ground” (1995) early
this morning (March 20)? The Sundance Channel aired it at midnight
Central time. It was a pretty strange movie. The plot revolves around
a photographer for a college newspaper who happens to capture on film
the suicide of a woman jumping out of her college dorm window (“Hitting
the Ground,” get it?) and his subsequent mental anguish about what he
has seen. He refuses to release the film to his aggressive editor who
insists that it be published in the college newspaper. It was actually
pretty good. On first viewing, I’d give it 3 stars out of 4.

Of course, the only reason I watched it was because Gordon Gano wrote
all of the music for the film. There is even a They Might Be Giants/
Gordon Gano song! Unfortunately, there is only one song presented in
its entirety, luckily by Gordon himself: the title track, which plays
over the closing credits. IT KICKS ASS. It’s classic high-energy
Gordon stuff.

Here’s a list of the songs in the movie, as listed during the end

“Catch ‘Em in the Act” (by Gordon Gano and Lou Reed), performed by
Lou Reed
“Make It Happen” (Gano), performed by Gordon Gano
“It’s Money” (Gano), performed by Vivian Williams
“Merry Christmas” (Gano), performed by Cynthia Gayneau
“Allison” (Gano), performed by They Might Be Giants with vocals by
Gordon Gano
“Oh Wonder” (Gano), performed by Mary Lou Lord (unsure of that last
“Don’t Pretend” (Gano), performed by John Cale
“Run” (Gano), performed by Frank Black
“So It Goes” (Gano), performed by Linda Perry
“Hitting the Ground” (Gano), performed by Gordon Gano with guitar by
P.J. Harvey

Unfortunately, there has been no soundtrack released to the film, but
wouldn’t it be great if there was one? “Hitting the Ground” (the song)
is really terrific. I can’t stop listening to it! I recorded the
movie on a good tape, and I’m going to try to convert it into WAV or
MP3 format.

Did anyone else catch this movie? I’d be interested in other comments
on it. (It aired twice earlier this month, but this was its last
showing on the Sundance Channel.)


Is that a recorder in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
So, with all the talk about the pros and cons of wearing underwear (or
anything at all) let me tell you about a time I was glad I was wearing
some (Deana insists you would want to know). At Summerfest last year
I wore a really neat dress I have (well, I like it anyway), but it
left me with not many options when it came time to hide my cassette
recorder. We were standing outside the gates wondering what to do,
when suddenly I dragged Deana over to the port-a-toilet(which probably
had some cutesy name like “Royal Flush” or “Honey Pot” that I don’t
care to remember). I went inside and got fairly personal with my
recorder (Let me make it completely clear it was not inserted anywhere
–it’s a fairly large recorder and well, that’s really all I have to
say about it!). After coming out and passing a cursory inspection by
Deana, I walked V*E*R*Y C*A*R*E*F*U*L*L*Y to the gate, being extremely
thankful I had on real underwear and not g-strings. The recording of
that night’s show was a little fast. (it made Gordon sound like a
chipmunk. Ok, anyone want to take the shot on that one?) We joked
that the recorder was still a little excited from its “adventure” 😉


-Pat. Says: Apparently, Amber sent a post last month or so. It’s lost
in cyberspace. Someday no doubt, future archaeologists will
come across it, and it will take years to decipher. When
they finally do, they will put it in a prominent place at
the British Museum, and billions of tourists will flock
to see it. Tourists of one nationality (which shall remain
nameless so as not to offend) will push to the front,
giving way only to others of the same nationality, and
making it impossible for others to see. There they will
complain loudly that it was not translated into THEIR

Random Thought for the Day …

As I was driving to work today and listening to WDBS I had this random
thought …
Isn’t it ironic that the man wrote wrote –
“read read read read read read read everything you can read and
learn learn learn learn learn learn learn everything you can learn
cause there is no tomorrow like today
and there is no today like tomorrow” – is a computer phobe?