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In Today’s Issue:

Reading, Frank Zappa quote, RE:Topic Starters, other meaningless babble
RE: Homepage Picture
Re:Sweatin’ to the Femmes
Balkan Falcon
Hitting the Ground
Is that a recorder in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Random Thought for the Day …

Reading, Frank Zappa quote, RE:Topic Starters, other meaningless babble
OK, I’m psyched for this Reading show because this will be the first
time I’ve gone with someone who actually knows the words to more than
BITS. Yes! I’m going with one of the bartenders I USED to work with, I
finally flipped out and quit my bar job. Working in a bar is OK unless
you’re working were I used to. Which is about as much fun as slipping
naked (hey I worked naked into my post cool) down a ten foot long,
greased razor blade. (Suckin’ muchly.)
Anyway, I’ve asked her to go to the past few shows but my ex-boss,
being the bastard that he is, frowns upon anything that would even
remotely considered fun and wouldn’t give her any of the days off. She
hasn’t really listened to VF since she was in high school so I brought
in all my VF CD’s for her to take home and listen to and she returned
all of them except first one and New Times so things are looking pretty
good here. I’m really curious to see if this show will be any different
from the other shows I’ve been to since it’s going to be a 21+ show.
There was a little paragraph in the PA Musician this month about the
show and a small quote from Brian about how the band is always trying
to expand their sound. That’s about it except for the ad on the next
page. (PA Musician is an absolutely horrible magazine covering the
local music scenes put together by various DJ’s from around the state.
It brings to mind a Frank Zappa quote: “Rock journalism is people who
can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, for people who can’t
read.” Yup that about covers most of locals on my half of the state.
Makes me kind of happy I’m not from here.)

Topic starters:
1. What is your favorite femmes song?
It used to be This Island Life, but now that I’ve had Rock!!!!! for a
while Sweet Worlds of Angels is my new favorite. This is really one of
those sappy “Why I like this song stories” so bear with me. I had a
pretty rough childhood. We weren’t poor or anything we just moved
around a lot and I never had what you would really consider a normal
childhood. When I was 15 my parents divorced and I had to decide
between living with my father or living with my mother. I chose to live
with my father and he and I moved to PA, while my mother and two younger
brothers stayed in Vermont. It was pretty much hell for us both. A 35
year old man suddenly raising his 15 year old daughter pretty much on
his own. (and I think all of us girls can attest to the fact that
happens to be one of the most turbulent times in a young woman’s
development and probably a complete mystery to any man). Needless to
say we were not connecting very well, (and that’s putting it mildly).
For the next three years I was deeply depressed and pretty much a pain
in the ass to my father, who I now know was doing his very best, even
though at the time I thought he was an Ogre. I was having mood swings
on a regular basis and pretty much keeping to myself. (I still call him
“my ogre” sometimes, although affectionately and never to his face.)
When I was a senior in high school I had a complete nervous breakdown
and was sent to the guidance office to receive “guidance.” Well, I was
babbling forth everything that was wrong with my life and my counselor
asked me if I had ever tried to kill myself and I said yes. I had tried
to commit suicide earlier that year by throwing myself off an eighth
floor balcony. (Which now that I think about it was pretty moronic
that’s not very far up and I probably wouldn’t have killed myself, just
really fucked myself up.) Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for
anyone who dislikes me) one of my friends had noticed that I was having
one of my mood swings again and had that good sense to keep an eye on
me that night. School policy where I graduated from is to alert parents
if they found out that a student was thinking about hurting themselves
or someone else. They called my father at work and told him the whole
story. At first my dad didn’t say anything. He came to pick me up at
school and drove me home and then went back to work. All I could think
“Was great now I’m going to get it when he gets home. This is none of
his business.” My dad came home later that night and didn’t say
anything at first. Then after a half hour of uncomfortable silence he
just looked at me and said “Was it something I did? Are you mad at me
for something?” That is the only time I have ever seen my father cry.
At first all I could think about was “Where does he get off thinking
this has anything to do with him?” Then I realized it had everything
to do with him. For three years I had been so incredibly selfish and
boo hooing over everything I felt was terrible unfair to me and taking
it out on the innocent by standers around me. I have never been so
ashamed in my life as I was at that moment. I’m still ashamed to even
think that I could be that way towards someone who had loved
unwaveringly my entire life. (Although I’m sure there were days when
he wanted to knock my lights out.) All I could say was “No”
That was the day I started to take a really long, hard, honest look at
myself. Which is not as easy as it sounds, self reflection takes a lot
of really harsh honest towards ones self not to mention diving into the
really ugly side of ones personality and trying to figure out how one
became wretchedly miserable without entirely placing the blame on other
parties. Sweet Worlds of Angels really symbolizes that whole process of
digging myself out of that whole mess of a human being that I was. I
know some people find this kind of emotional slobbering kind of
embarrassing, but I don’t anymore. OK I’m done sharing.

2. What is your favorite Femmes album?
New Times without a doubt.

3. What is your funniest memory of a femmes concert?
Probably the stripping, tripping, dancing bisexual chicks that were
making out and molesting my friend Mikey at the Cleveland show last
year. Josh, if you’re still out there somewhere, do you remember them?

4. Have you ever not worn underwear to a femmes concert?

Ummm… no but, as long as we are on the subject of not wearing
underwear I would like to know at what age does a man reach the
decision that underwear is no longer a necessity. I swear in my year
of working at the bar I saw more cases of plumbers crack then I thought
was humanly possible. I’m going to need a few years of therapy to get
over it. Say no to crack and yes to Hanes, or at least wear a belt.

signing off,

RE: Homepage Picture
< Oh btw, check out the new picture on the official home page.>

When I visited the home page yesterday I saw the new picture. Cute.
A question though……… It looks like Guy has something in his hand.
Can anyone tell what he is holding? I couldn’t figure it out. But, I
believe Gordon’s holding a cigar. And Brian seems to be holding on to

Anyway, just curious.
Peace, Tammy


Re:Sweatin’ to the Femmes

Hey do you think Mr. Snopek and his big fish hat would be in this
video. He could stand in the back row and Richard could say, “COME ON
SIGGY! Burn that fat!” and then Snopek can tell him to “Fuck off!!”
That would be really funny. I’d by the video just for that.


Balkan Falcon

I just bought Machine and am listening to “Balkan Falcon”. Does
anybody know what that song is all about? The lyric “Fuck all the
women, kill all the children” is a bit disturbing. I think it may be
sarcasm or it may be satirical in some way (at least I hope it is).
The song also in the beginning talks about the prophet Elija. I don’t
know much about the Bible. Could someone who does possibly give a brief
explanation of Elija. I am confused……


Hitting the Ground
Did anyone else check out the movie “Hitting the Ground” (1995) early
this morning (March 20)? The Sundance Channel aired it at midnight
Central time. It was a pretty strange movie. The plot revolves around
a photographer for a college newspaper who happens to capture on film
the suicide of a woman jumping out of her college dorm window (“Hitting
the Ground,” get it?) and his subsequent mental anguish about what he
has seen. He refuses to release the film to his aggressive editor who
insists that it be published in the college newspaper. It was actually
pretty good. On first viewing, I’d give it 3 stars out of 4.

Of course, the only reason I watched it was because Gordon Gano wrote
all of the music for the film. There is even a They Might Be Giants/
Gordon Gano song! Unfortunately, there is only one song presented in
its entirety, luckily by Gordon himself: the title track, which plays
over the closing credits. IT KICKS ASS. It’s classic high-energy
Gordon stuff.

Here’s a list of the songs in the movie, as listed during the end

“Catch ‘Em in the Act” (by Gordon Gano and Lou Reed), performed by
Lou Reed
“Make It Happen” (Gano), performed by Gordon Gano
“It’s Money” (Gano), performed by Vivian Williams
“Merry Christmas” (Gano), performed by Cynthia Gayneau
“Allison” (Gano), performed by They Might Be Giants with vocals by
Gordon Gano
“Oh Wonder” (Gano), performed by Mary Lou Lord (unsure of that last
“Don’t Pretend” (Gano), performed by John Cale
“Run” (Gano), performed by Frank Black
“So It Goes” (Gano), performed by Linda Perry
“Hitting the Ground” (Gano), performed by Gordon Gano with guitar by
P.J. Harvey

Unfortunately, there has been no soundtrack released to the film, but
wouldn’t it be great if there was one? “Hitting the Ground” (the song)
is really terrific. I can’t stop listening to it! I recorded the
movie on a good tape, and I’m going to try to convert it into WAV or
MP3 format.

Did anyone else catch this movie? I’d be interested in other comments
on it. (It aired twice earlier this month, but this was its last
showing on the Sundance Channel.)


Is that a recorder in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
So, with all the talk about the pros and cons of wearing underwear (or
anything at all) let me tell you about a time I was glad I was wearing
some (Deana insists you would want to know). At Summerfest last year
I wore a really neat dress I have (well, I like it anyway), but it
left me with not many options when it came time to hide my cassette
recorder. We were standing outside the gates wondering what to do,
when suddenly I dragged Deana over to the port-a-toilet(which probably
had some cutesy name like “Royal Flush” or “Honey Pot” that I don’t
care to remember). I went inside and got fairly personal with my
recorder (Let me make it completely clear it was not inserted anywhere
–it’s a fairly large recorder and well, that’s really all I have to
say about it!). After coming out and passing a cursory inspection by
Deana, I walked V*E*R*Y C*A*R*E*F*U*L*L*Y to the gate, being extremely
thankful I had on real underwear and not g-strings. The recording of
that night’s show was a little fast. (it made Gordon sound like a
chipmunk. Ok, anyone want to take the shot on that one?) We joked
that the recorder was still a little excited from its “adventure” 😉


-Pat. Says: Apparently, Amber sent a post last month or so. It’s lost
in cyberspace. Someday no doubt, future archaeologists will
come across it, and it will take years to decipher. When
they finally do, they will put it in a prominent place at
the British Museum, and billions of tourists will flock
to see it. Tourists of one nationality (which shall remain
nameless so as not to offend) will push to the front,
giving way only to others of the same nationality, and
making it impossible for others to see. There they will
complain loudly that it was not translated into THEIR

Random Thought for the Day …

As I was driving to work today and listening to WDBS I had this random
thought …
Isn’t it ironic that the man wrote wrote –
“read read read read read read read everything you can read and
learn learn learn learn learn learn learn everything you can learn
cause there is no tomorrow like today
and there is no today like tomorrow” – is a computer phobe?