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The Quote Of The Day:

But no more,
You understand?
-From Never Tell
-Submitted by thehappycyclops


**April 1- Snow King Resort, Jackson Hole, WY (P)**

Remember, I’m only posting the full listing of dates on Mondays, so I
hope you saved that issue.


In Today’s Issue:

Pain and Disappointment
Questions Answered
Dreams and Such
A Story
How the Femmes Indirectly Brought Me and My Boyfriend Together…

Pain and Disappointment
i was so excited to hear that the femmes were going to be at the rpi
fieldhouse. i’ve been waiting 3 years for them to come back near me so
i could go see them. and now, to ruin all my dreams. it’s an 18 and
older show. what’s with this?? i’m 17, one year shy. if i were born
just one year earlier i could see my favorite band of all time play an
excellent show. there’s got to be something i can do…letters,
petitions, fake id…but i really don’t know where to start or who to
contact. i have to do something. any ideas??

very hurt–brandy

Hi Everyone,
It was most definitely a Femmes crowd at the Kutztown show tonight.
There were not even enough die-hard They Might Be Giants fans in the
audience to sing the audience participation songs (Planet of the Apes.
“John, John, John, John, Dan Dan, Dan Dan ). I did my part though. I
love They Might Be Giants!!
It occurred to me while watching the Femmes set that a good number
of people in the audience were wee little tykes when the Femmes first
album came out, and yet they knew just about every word of every song.
What an enthusiastic response!!! I think that can safely be called
longevity and staying power.
Notable points in the evening were the amazing solo performances
by each and every band member on Flamingo Baby, Confessions (it was
amazing!!),Good Feelings, Gimme the Car and of course Black Girls.
They also did an interesting little number having to do with, “Son,
don’t take your cell phone to town.”
Gordon and Guy were nice enough to put my son, Dan and I on the
guest list and we got to hang out back stage with them for a while.
Brian and Gordon invited Dan to play his tuba with them at an upcoming
performance.(Dan is a tuba peformance major at Eastman School of Music.)
I’ll let you know when and where it happens. You Must applaud loudly
for him. He is my 6’4″ bouncing baby boy!!
I think this was one of the best arena performances I’ve seen them
do. Too many times, the music gets lost in the cavernous expanses of
these huge venues. Tonight, they filled the place with rich,endorphin
releasing magic. I do love those Femmes!!


The Kutztown show rocked. If not for the shitty acoustics, I’d say it
was the best concert I’ve ever attended. I thought that They Might Be
Giants might have been Better. I was not impressed w/ that aspect of
the show, nor did I like the way it was run. But I managed to bypass
“security” and get to the floor (rather than sit up in the balcony,
which was horrible). The Femmes were great, they played some unexpected
songs, 3 off of Freak Magnet (Fat, Bad, Talkin’ ‘Bout My Music), and
they “premiered” a song Gordan had just written a few days ago about
George Jones. It’s called “Don’t take the cell phone to town”, or “the
George Jones Song”.
Here’s the set list (in no real order):
Confessions (opener); Prove my love;blister in the sun;gone daddy gone;
gimme the car;american music;Fat;Bad;Talkin’ ’bout my music;waiting for
the bus;add it up;kiss off (encore);country death song;jesus walking on
the water;good feeling;black girls;i held her in my arms;flamingo baby;
dance M.F. dance;used to be;Don’t bring the cell phone to town.

The George Jones song is really funny. I took some pictures of the
band going nuts and if they come out well, I’ll scan them and send them
to Pat if she wants them. Guy gave it 200%, Brian broke the Therimin,
and Gordan’s hair is really long. All and all, it kicked ass, maybe
next time I see them, they won’t be playing in a gymnasium……


Questions Answered
<< What is your favorite femmes song? >>
I have to go with “black girls,” although “gimme the car” comes in a
real close second. I love the lyrics and instrumentation to these two.
They are bomb.

<< What is your favorite Femmes album? >>
I don’t have all of them, either, but I could listen to Add It Up for
years and years and years.

<< What is your funniest memory of a femmes concert? >>
I guess that would be my ONLY memory from a femmes concert. This was
Super Bowl last year, here in San Diego, when my femmes were playing
in a beer garden. Naturally, being under 21, I couldn’t go into the
beer garden, but I sat outside of a fence and watched, and talked to
the hired bacon that was nearby. Well pretty soon some rowdier fans
than I got together and knocked the fence down. My friends and I went
in and enjoyed the show. I know it doesn’t sound funny, but it was at
the time. Nevermind. Something that struck me as funny from that
night was a bit unrelated–the second we got downtown, my friends, two
fairly buffed out, city-dwelling guys (or so you’d think), immediately
locked the doors to the car and started getting all paranoid over any
group of people who looked even remotely like a gang. What dorks. I
haven’t been scared in downtown since I was seven.

<< Have you ever not worn underwear to a femmes concert? >>
Oh only the time I threw panties at Gordon… JUST KIDDING! No, I have
this silly habit of wearing underwear when I leave the house. Call me


“I’m thinking of starting a secret rumour… that i’m a NYMPHOMANIAC!”

Dreams and Such
First off, my Femmes dream… when I am a billionaire I am going to
have a music extravaganza concert where I hire a bunch of bands and
pay them enough money that *I* get to write the set lists, so they
play all the songs I want them to. The Femmes are definitely on that
list. (Currently joined by David Bowie and Cake. I’m sure more bands
will be added in the future.)

> > Topic starters:
> What is your favorite femmes song?

I Hear the Rain… the song that hooked me on them.

> What is your favorite Femmes album?

Depends on the day. They all fit different moods. “Blind Leading the
Naked” has gotten the most play over the years, with Hallowed Ground
running a close second.

Not that you asked, but currently my favorite non-Femmes album with a
Femme on it is DeathGrooveLoveParty by Carmaig De Forest. I’m a
Carmaig groupie– it’s a lot easier than being a Femmes groupie, and
since I first learned of him at a Femmes concert I consider it the next
best thing. 🙂

> What is your funniest memory of a femmes concert?

1) We were right up at the stage at a concert in Portland and this bimbo
(we call her Betty Boop) was standing behind my roommate. Betty had the
idea that if she flailed her arms around, sang loudly enough and off key
enough the band would want to have their way with her. Roommate got sick
of the arms in the face and told Betty that if she tried that one more
time she would get bitten. Betty flailed her arms in roommates face one
more time. Roommate bit her.

2) “Hello Seattle!” said by Brian and Gordon as a result of someone in
crowd yelling at them to say hello. Gordon did it like a wuss and
waved. Brian played Mr. Rock God. You probably had to be there, but we
were in stiches.

Is that more than you ever wanted/needed to know from a first time


A Story
Beky said:
> I think that some songs are totally kickin’,
> but I think some of the songs are lacking. I don’t really like “A
> Story” or something like that. I think it’s too long, and that it
> kind of gets dragging after awhile.

I love “A Story”. (I’ve really got to find out more about this Pierre
Henry guy.) I can see why some people might not like it,
is kind of slow-paced and weird. But I want to share some thoughts
I’ve had about the song.

We all know that Gordon assumes all sorts of identities in his songs..
He has written from the points of view of horny adolescents, God-
fearing Christians, disturbed farmers, etc… I think that one of the
most interesting things about the Femmes is all of the personalities
and moralities that he explores and examines in his songs.

So a couple of weeks ago, in the shower (yes, in accordance with the
current hot topic on this list, I have to mention that I was naked),
I started thinking about who he was identifying with in “A Story.”
Clearly, a lot of the people who listen to the song are going to
identify with the young lovers who elope… But they are killed by the
hideous Monster. And, interestingly enough, Gordon never says that the
Monster is evil.. He is the Monster our parents warn us about, whose
job is to punish “bad kids disobeying parents’ wishes.” A force of
order, perhaps? (Rather than just running away, the kids repent of
breaking the rules. But it’s too late to avoid judgement. Especially
if Gordon is Christian, could he see this as a just punishment for
their sins?)

Are we supposed to identify with these kids? They’re fucking losers!
The girl just sits there screaming, and the boy selfishly offers her
life to get away. I don’t think that Gordon thought of them as heroes.
So is the mother the good guy then? I could see some people arguing
that…the story feels a bit like some sort of morality play, so she is
justified in trying to raise her daughter properly. But if Gordon
wanted her to be good, why does she sell the rights to the story,
profiting off of her daughter’s gruesome death?

So I’m standing there in the shower, thinking about the two sides in
the story: The young lovers, who follow their hearts, but are at
heart selfish bastards, and the mother, who is part of “the system”,
making unfair rules..and profiting in a way that is wrong, even if it
is within the rules of Society. And the Monster is also following the
rules of the Establishment. Then I realized that the ending of the
song, which I’d always thought of as a rather disappointing conclusion,
actually had a point! Gordon finishes by announcing “the moral of the
story is clear for all to see. But it isn’t clear to me.” He’s just
as confused about it as I am. Some people will say the story is a
tragedy about two heroic lovers who aren’t understood, and some will
say that the mother and Monster were good and following the rules. But
in reality, both the establishment and anti-establishment people were
selfish and petty…most people will only see the bad qualities in the
side they don’t like. And Gordon still doesn’t know what side he’s
supposed to be on. This is exactly the kind of statement I would
expect from someone who has made such great songs written from so many
points of view.

I think that this is really cool, but you’re all probably shaking your
heads and asking “what the hell is Nevin smoking?!?!” Just a few
months ago, there was a big discussion in which most people agreed that
the Femmes didn’t have deep meanings to their songs… I agree with
that, but I think A Story might be an exception. Does anyone else?


(PS: Does anyone know what the Monster says after he eats the
teenagers? I think it sounds like “Evil, good, better do what they
should.” But then again, I could just be making that up, because I
want it to be something that goes along with my theory that the Monster
is enforcing society’s rules…which don’t necessarily have a

How the Femmes Indirectly Brought Me and My Boyfriend Together…
It all started in November. Brian and I had started working at
Carmike Cinemas at the same time (August) and were great friends…
great friends who were madly in love with each other and didn’t know
how the other one felt. We also both happened to be Femme obsessed,
which made him even more perfect in my eyes.
One night we went on break for dinner with our friends Scott,
Amanda (Brian and I got her obsessed too), and Zach (who’s never had a
date in his life, poor thing). We had Good Feeling blasting and the
windows rolled down, each of us dangling a clove out the window (yum!).
Suddenly I screamed, “STOP!!! LISTEN!! You can TELL by Gordon’s voice
that he’s an AMAZING kisser!!!” Everyone shut up and listened, and slow
smiles spread across their faces. They all began nodding, even the
guys. Amanda and I got into a discussion about who was hotter, Gordon
or Guy (I think Guy’s astoundingly sexy, but no one else agrees…),
and then the discussion turned to kissing.
Zach with the virgin lips was feeling left out. We were at a
loooong red light, and finally I turned around and looked at him.
“Zach, sweetie, it’s done like this,” I said, and gave Brian a long,
sweet kiss. When I pulled away I looked into his eyes and KNEW… and
it’s been heaven ever since. Thanx guys. I couldn’t have done it
without ya.
Brian says thanx too… 🙂


Just in case anybody needs to know what a catharsis is, i looked it up
and have decided to share this wealth with everyone else who DOESN’T

ca*thar*sis (noun), plural ca*thar*ses

[New Latin, from Greek katharsis, from kathairein to cleanse, purge,
from katharos]

First appeared circa 1775


2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear)
primarily through art

b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal
or release from tension

3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and
affording it expression

and a purgation is the following:

purge [1] (verb) purged; purg*ing

[Middle English, from Middle French purgier, from Latin purigare,
purgare to purify, purge, from purus pure + -igare (akin to agere to
drive, do) — more at ACT]

verb transitive

First appeared 14th Century

1 a : to clear of guilt

b : to free from moral or ceremonial defilement


p.s.- you know there were a bunch of you who wanted to know what this
meant but were too lazy to look it up and too embarassed to ask what it
meant, so you’re welcome SLACKERS!

what is Absinthe?


-Pat.ays: Absinthe,n. (Fr.;L absinthium, wormwood;Gr. absinthion), a
green, bitter, alcoholic liquor with the flavor of wormwood
and anise (wormwood is a strong-smelling plant with white or
yellow flowers). It was a popular, highly addictive drink
among artists and writers of the Victorian period/early 20th
century, as it was believed to enhance creativity and
perception. Absinthism is a disease caused by habitually
drinking too much absinthe.
Its popularity is apparently on the rise.
Absinthe is also the name of a band featuring present and
former members of the BoDeans.